by Becca Shaw Glaser May 31, 2022, The Free Press

Working on a landscaping job last summer, our hands and knees drenched in dirt, I learned that Lisa Diane had been Republican for most of her adult life, and slowly became progressive over the past 15 years. How does this happen? How do we become so certain of our ideas and beliefs, and then completely let go of them? 

In 2000, Lisa Diane uprooted herself from the Sanford area (where she grew up) and headed to Rockland for a job teaching graphic arts at the Midcoast School of Technology. Then, for 10 years, she owned and ran Pinnacle Graphics on Main Street in Rockland, closing it in 2013. Now working as an “ornamental gardener,” she is known as Daya Devi among her sangha (spiritual community), and as a yoga teacher online and at Earth Flow + Fire. On a recent cool May evening, we sat at a picnic table in Rockland’s Central Park, lilacs bursting purple around us, where, in her thoughtful, searching way she revisited her youth, her marriage, her former affection for Rush Limbaugh, and how she came to reject much of what she once believed and become who she is now.

Becca: How did you look at the world when you were young? 

Lisa Diane: I was a typical ’70s kid growing up with 2-4 hours of daily escape with “The Brady Bunch,” “The Partridge Family,” “Gilligan’s Island,” “Love Boat.” Images on the nightly news: people starving in Ethiopia, apartheid in South Africa, I would just shut down. I was very insulated, sheltered. I mean, TV was on all the time; news on the radio and TV, we had newspapers, but I’d always go for the comics. It was as though I didn’t want to know. I never really thought much about politics, kind of just thought, ‘That’s for someone else to take care of.’ 

There were 13 of us kids. When I was two, my mom, with four, married my stepfather, who had eight. They had another, for good measure. So it was just frickin’ chaos. And trauma. There was a lot of fighting and the stepsiblings bullied me really bad. I became the target. So survival really was it, you know? It wasn’t like we would have thoughtful discussions about world affairs. They were in the ether, in the periphery [along] with the news. My stepfather was proudly Republican; my mother was whatever he was. I grew up in a family where my stepfather’s opinions were basically “gospel,” and my mother would go along with his beliefs. 

When did you start formally identifying as Republican?

I married really young, 21, and had my first child at 22. I didn’t even know who I was — certainly didn’t have many of my own opinions. Ironically, as it turned out, I basically married my stepfather — a raging alcoholic, angry, with similar political opinions. His views became more strengthened as he happened upon Rush Limbaugh in the late ’80s/early ’90s. Right-winger talk shows permeated our every day. It just kind of became the background of our home. My (now-ex) husband branched out: Imus in the Morning, G. Gordon Liddy, Mary Matilin, Howie Carr, others too, but Rush was “the man.” I also found him entertaining. He was mean-spirited, but, growing up with bullying and mean-spirited humor, it was familiar. I came around to listening, whenever [I was] able, to Rush as well. This is where the rhetoric seeped into me. I think I bought the right-wing agenda, hook, line and sinker, and at that time I was working at a plant nursery, working with many “left-thinking” people. It’s hard to get back inside my 20-something’s head, but that know-it-all attitude, laughing at someone else’s expense, was familiar, what I grew up with.

Where does mean-spiritedness come from? What need inside them is it feeding?

First I want to say, I’m no saint. I’ve hurt a lot of people. I know how to be that mean-spirited person, because I grew up in it. It was directed at me. I’ve had to unlearn it, if I’ve been successful, that is. I think it’s probably insecurity and fear. Not being secure in themselves, so taking others down a couple notches. 

What was Rush Limbaugh teaching?

I’d always been sensitive and a treehugger at heart. I worried about the environment, picked up trash, recycled, and I loved nature shows. But listening to Rush brought me some form of comfort, accepting much of what he said. These right-wingers have ideas that, in a sense, take the responsibility away from you and let you off the hook. Take overpopulation, for example. Rush would say, ‘If you take every human being and line them up shoulder to shoulder, they’d only cover the surface of Australia.’ (“Oh, that’s not so bad.”) So it kind of lets you sleep at night. Same with global warming: ‘Humans don’t have the power to affect the earth and the weather. Yes, changes are happening, but it’s the natural way of things.’ Democrats are demonized, personally picking out individuals, or just as a whole, thought of as evil, while the Republicans are being personalized and praised for their kindness. I didn’t necessarily agree on everything, but enough I guess. I still yearned for a deep relationship with life. I’ve always been a deep, “oversensitive” person. 

When we divorced in 1999, I didn’t continue listening to that stuff, but that wasn’t what brought me out from under the veil. I still voted Republican, tragically. G.W.Bush. Twice. It took a good while for me to unravel and figure out who I am, to be in the world as a thinking-for-myself human. I’m not proud of this, but it’s part of my history.

When and how did your views begin to change? 

It took years for me to unravel thoughts and attitudes. Starting with meditation and yoga. Earlier as a young mother, I came to the Episcopal Church. There I participated in a meditation series, a method called Centering Prayer. I’d always been looking inward, trying to heal, although not really knowing the language. I knew there was something bigger, something more. 

Later, after separating from my former business/life partner in 2008, I was regularly practicing yoga and meditation, reading The Free Press, attending occasional social talks and gatherings. It was also during this time (in my mid-late 40s) that I finally faced my sexuality. I realized that all my life, I had suppressed the fact that I am lesbian. All of this, the awakening from the slumber of rigid right-wing thinking and the truth of my sexuality, happened simultaneously, from around 2008-2012. Dance, meditation, yoga and live music seemed to shake me free. Local music introduced me to people like Steve Burke and Tim Sullivan, who had different perspectives. Dancing brought me to Patti Luchetti and through her I met Alan Hynd and Marjorie Strauss, and eventually the Midcoast Peace & Justice Group. Or listening to WERU–I don’t know which came first. My circle of engaged, caring people was enlarging. 

I mean, I’ve always wanted peace and justice. But I think I just was given false information, or I lazily chose it. Here’s an example, and the same thing happens in the more modern-day [right wing viewpoint]: Rodney King. Clearly, you see the footage, he’s getting turned into a bloody pulp . But what they would say is: ‘He’s on all these drugs, and he’s fighting back.’ The spin is that they had to do it; it’s the only way they could have stopped him. And recently, a family member was saying to me that George Floyd stashed a handful of drugs in his mouth, and that’s actually why he died. 

Wow. (Multiple autopsies, and all credible forensic pathologists, toxicologists, doctors, and a jury concluded that George Floyd’s death was primarily due to police officers pinning his neck and body to the ground for nearly 10 minutes.)

It’s like, they’ll tell a story. And then that’s the story. And I bought in. But it was just like, with meditation, yoga and dancing, with getting to know people who had more of a handle on what’s going on in the world–[my change in beliefs] wasn’t neatly cut and dried. I remember, about abortion, even though I was part of the Episcopal Church, which is very liberal, I’d always thought, since I first heard about it, that it was killing innocent babies. So, I had to do some deep soul-searching. It took a long time, but I’ve come to a place, spiritually, where I believe the soul will come in no matter what–like, if it misses this one, then it’ll come in through the next one. I believe soul is infinite. And, you know, we do our earthly hurts, and we do our healing, and we do our best. God loves us and knows we’re fallible. Sometimes abortion is the best solution for a bad situation. If that’s what a woman needs to do, I feel she should be able to govern her own body, and receive proper care. We’re not property, and we should not be governed by anyone. 

What is some of the activism you’ve been part of?

I’ve gone to protests, standing on the street corners, marches, for various things: drone wars, the Women’s March, protests against racism; I walked for Fukushima, when the peace walkers came. But I think in quieter ways, I’m an activist. Eating as organically and locally as I can, gardening organically, buying second-hand, educating myself on the truth of our (American) history. I’m still catching up. Lately I’m actively reading Sacred Instructions, Four Hundred Souls, and Radical Simplicity. Part of my education. And even though my daily practices now include a more Buddhist path, I still keep Christ tucked into the center of my heart. I could be in a crowd of people, totally invisible, virtually unnoticed, but I could be completely showering them in love. Praying, literally sending light and love to the world. And particularly people I don’t agree with, people that are hurting others, in large and small ways. I feel that if prayer has any merit (which I believe it does), we might as well pray for them because they need it. If even one of their hearts opened, just imagine. Since the Russian Ukraine invasion, I’ve been sending what I call LTAT (Love to All Tyrants).

The first Republican attack ad of the election season against Governor Mills just came out, singling out an optional kindergarten video lesson, among 400 recent pandemic-era lessons created by Maine teachers and available on the Maine Department of Education website, called “Freedom Holidays,” which mentions, in a supportive tone, the existence of same-gender love, and transgender people. Governor Mills and the DOE’s immediate response was to remove the lesson. Would love your thoughts on this.

First of all I am a huge LGBTQIA advocate. Having been an OUT! As I Want to Be (now OUT Maine) advisor for a couple of years, I know well the struggles these kids face. I viewed the Freedom Holidays video [made by kindergarten teacher] Kailina Mills. I thought it was age appropriate and perfectly suitable, not only for LGBTQIA children, but also their peers. Is it ever too early to teach about diversity and kindness? The video did not, in any way, attempt to “groom” children to question their own gender. This is for children who just “know.” And I’m imagining as they view a lesson like this, they would be able to breathe a huge sigh of relief. ‘Someone understands me. This is speaking to me.’ I believe in inclusion. Education should cover these things. More than “tolerance,” but inclusiveness, kindness and lots of space for all.

Early in the pandemic you praised Maine-based doctor-turned COVID-minimizer  and vaccine-conspiracy theorist Christiane Northrup on her website, calling her appearance on a podcast titled, “Dr. Christiane Northrup: The Plandemic, Vaccines, Bill Gates, Medical Establishment & Awakening” “amazing!,” but more recently you wrote on your Facebook page that you had thrown her books out. 

Oh yes, Christiane Northrup. She was a hero of mine. She was like the female modern-day Dr. Spock. I’ve heard her speaking multiple times and really admired her. When the pandemic started, and the attitude of Trump (‘Eh, it’s nothing’), I thought it almost seemed calculated. And that was even before I heard her talk.

What seemed calculated?

The pandemic itself. You know, let’s spread this illness, let’s do all business online, let’s separate everybody, everybody’s housebound, they can’t be together, they can’t look each other in the eye. It was like, ‘Are you kidding me, outdoors is the best thing for this illness, and we can’t even go out.’ It didn’t make any sense to me. So when I heard her talking and she was calling it ‘plandemic,’ it seemed right. And because of who she is, I was just like, ‘That’s it,’ but that didn’t last long. I went from watching her talk on that one thing to watching a couple other videos and realizing her ideas sounded increasingly out there, conspiracy theory-type of mania. So I recognized pretty quickly what sounded to me like rhetoric.

What do you mean by rhetoric? What flagged it for you?

You know, when anyone claims that they have something all figured out, I kind of back away. And it kind of screamed conspiracy theory to me. So, I can’t say I’m out of the woods with brainwashing because clearly that wasn’t that long ago that I was championing Christiane Northrup, but I do feel that we need to keep vigilant with the information that we’re taking in.

I don’t claim to have answers. That’s probably how this interview is gonna come together: I don’t have answers. And I don’t want to become brainwashed. And the only way that that’s gonna happen is to continue to pay attention to where I’m getting my information, and then sit with it, because there’s just so much information.

Most of your family are still Republicans, and Trump supporters. Do they think you are being duped?

Some family members would think I am now brainwashed. Or that I have my head in the sand. In fact the reason any of this conversation is happening is because in one of our first-ever conversations I said, “No human is exempt from becoming brainwashed, so we must stay vigilant.” Each side is completely convinced that the other side is being brainwashed. Well, I’ve been 100% on both sides. It’s scary. Determining the truth these days is tricky. My politics now is about peace and justice for all humans, animals and our precious, beautiful planet. 

How do you identify politically now?

I guess I would say Democratic Socialist. I know [Socialist’s] like a dirty word.

To many, because of decades of the U.S. government (and media) vilifying it, misrepresenting it, and literally going after people’s jobs and lives. 

I mean, I just feel like everyone should have their basic needs met, you know. We have a lot of Socialist things in place with our roads, bridges, police, fire and emergency. All that stuff that gets paid for by our taxes, right? Why is it just partial? There’s so much inequality, and I feel like everyone should be able to eat three meals a day and be warm and safe. It doesn’t seem like that should be like a luxury — ‘You didn’t work hard enough,’ you know? And people will say, ‘Oh, people would just be lazy and they just wouldn’t work.’ Maybe I give people too much credit, but I do feel that if people didn’t have to work for, like, survival, their basic needs, just imagine what people could do, if they didn’t have to take a job just because it pays the best, but something that they really, really want to do. I just don’t think everyone would turn into couch potatoes. 

I really feel like what it took for me as a human being to develop was to be on my own, and to not be in codependent relationships where I just put on the cloak of whatever my other half was telling me. I feel like most of my growing up life and into my early 40s, I was pretty moldable and I didn’t have my own opinions. One of my best friends in junior high, we’re still great friends now, she’s always been just like, black and white, total Democrat the whole time. I’ve always admired people who had such strong convictions. But me, I get <start ital>their<end ital> point, and I get <start ital>their<end ital> point. I guess I’m just a work in progress of someone who’s trying to figure out where I stand in this life.

Is there a message you would deliver to someone who is still really into Trump, or Rush Limbaugh, Tucker Carlson?

I think the Democrats are equally guilty of “othering.” But there’s something about the welfare of and compassion for our fellow humans. I know that Democrats, they want all these programs and stuff, but it’s because there’s such a need in this world. I know everything costs money, but it’s like, ‘Hello, have you looked at our country? There is so much inequality!’ I don’t know. Honestly I don’t know what to say to my family. I wish I did. I love our country — I love our ground, I love our trees, I love my community, my people. But as far as the way that we Americans treat people, torture, separating children from their parents and caging them, the school to prison pipeline—is that what we’re talking about, ‘We love our country?’ Because, I’m not proud of any of that, and I think we can do so much better.

Becca Shaw Glaser is a writer/artist/thinker who currently lives near the old lime kilns in Rockport.