by Becca Shaw Glaser May 17, 2022, The Free Press
Suzanne Belle Stone came back to midcoast Maine in her forties, forty years earlier than she had expected. Growing up in Ellsworth, Orland, Holden and Camden, after decades away, she and her partner moved to a house on the outskirts of Belfast where they host experimental music/film/performance fests, pulling in people from around the world. An ocean-dream of a person with blue spiky wing tattoos on her shoulder blades and ringlets of rust-bright hair, Suzanne enters a space with a river’s intensity, or a soft rustling wind: with a basket of enormous fuzz-skinned peaches from her backyard tree, and herbal teas, tinctures and brews from her Moon of Hyldemoer Herbals creations to share. Or she might be performing, touring the earth solo as White Gourd or with her group, Million Brazilians, playing saxophone, gong, the metal shriek of criss-crossing machetes, voice of soil, oak into microphone.
I met Suzanne when I was fourteen or fifteen and she was in college; she introduced me to riot grrrl and a lot more. In Portland, Oregon, Suzanne was a gardener/educator working with children at a preschool for a decade. Now seven years back in Maine, Suzanne tends her gardens and others’, is always pursuing new learnings, and teaches a seemingly endless list of plant-world and death/life-related classes. We spoke over email of her love of plants, her critique of the concept of plants as “invasive species,” and what it means to be a Death doula/Village Deathcare Citizen. I have preserved her capitalizations and ampersands.
Becca: Talk some about your ancestry and experiences growing up in Maine.
Suzanne: I come from a family who has lived mostly in Maine, my paternal line arriving from Ireland & Scotland in the 1700’s to the Cushing/Port Clyde area, Abenaki & Wabanaki land & my maternal line in the 1800’s through French Canada, Mi’kmaq, Abenaki, & Passamaquoddy land. I really recommend the book ‘Women of the Dawn’ by Bunny McBride. This book helped me to understand a bit more what it may have been like to have European peoples arrive (some being my ancestors) & take over one’s homeland, many times with violence, racism, & misunderstanding–these same injustices that many of my ancestors were fleeing in their homelands. My ancestors were hard-working farmers, fisher/lobster folk, sardine packers, crab pickers, teachers, trying their best to survive & provide for their families. There is compassion, resilience & love in my ancestry for which I am thankful.
Sometimes I remember a time when this was all I knew, living in Maine until I was 18. I remember the plants even as I barely knew their names, the Wild Sarsaparilla, I would count the leaves assuring myself again this was not Poison Ivy. The low lying Blueberry fields near our old home in Orland that were burned each year to a charcoal black, & the tallest Pine tree for miles around across from my home.
When, how, why, do you think you became, for lack of a better word, counter-cultural?
I remember being in the hallway as a Junior [at Camden-Rockport High School] & stopping mid-step thinking, “There must be more to life than this.” I was so shy in so many ways when I was younger yet I felt myself searching for something that I felt lacking in the mainstream ways. There was a wildness inside of me that I was trying to understand how to honor & how to allow myself to be.
As a teenager in the late 80’s/early 90’s, (no internet searches here), I really was wishing for wilder, different music, ways of being & felt drawn to the surreal in many forms. The Gulf War was happening & I felt so against this on so many levels, my parents allowed me to attend the war protest in D.C. I remember realizing in my teens how much we were being lied to by the government & wondered how deep this went. My friends & I would rent all the foreign films at Harbor Audio Video to see what else there was in life, what other ways of being there could be.
I joined tape clubs, ordering the “underground music” tapes, was moved by Sinéad O’Connor’s “Mandinka” video, any little hint I would try to follow this lead. Many people I met inspired me that there were many ways to live. My first year of college I became a radio DJ & searched out more music. Riot Grrrl was in full force & I joined the local group, attended the Pro-Choice rally in D.C., seeing Bikini Kill, GWAR, L7, among other greats. In my early to mid 20’s I began researching & exploring jazz, a genre I greatly love, which honors wildness, my favs being Sun Ra & Alice Coltrane. I began working on organic farms & studying herbalism &, being from a family of teachers, began to teach of my love of this dynamic Earth.
You are an herbalist of “Wild Heart Tradition.” Can you tell me more about what that entails?
The Wild Heart Tradition comes from studying with my teacher Gail Faith Edwards of Blessed Maine Herb Farm [in Athens]. To me these gatherings of words mean that as an herbalist, I let myself be led by such guides as plants, seasons, rhythms, devotions, & story medicine as I work with, listen with, & co-create medicine with plants, offering this to those in need. To me this means I dwell on the edges, amongst the hedges, with a silence for listening & honoring the wildness in all including myself. Vitality, leading with the heart.
What does a death doula do?
I really like my teacher, Anne-Marie Keppel’s phrase, Village Deathcare Citizen. Death doula is a term that is becoming more well known, so sometimes I do use this term. A death doula/village deathcare citizen is one who assists with the tending of one who is in the process of dying (we are all aliving until we die, so they are also in the process of letting go of being alive). Death doulas are first & foremost honoring the one who is transitioning, as well as can assist the family with needs. A death doula listens to the needs/desires of the person transitioning from this world & together they craft a plan to accomplish anything desired as well as to take care of the day-to-day, doing laundry, making delicious soups/cookies, helping to create a visitors’ schedule. A death doula/village deathcare citizen can help with paperwork, be a part of difficult conversations, sit vigil, clean, offer spiritual & physical support, bear witness to the many faces of grief with non-judgement & listening & more listening.
What pulled you to death doula training?
During such a time of grief, confusion, & heart-wrench [of being with my father-in-law in hospice], I found the hospice workers & volunteers to be so supportive & informative for our family & friends. They informed us of physical changes that would happen to our loved one’s body as well as offered space for us to be with him at all hours & in all ways. This, along with losing one of my dearest friends a few years ago, prompted me to take these classes. Experiencing the death of your Grandmother, Becca–Grandma Betty–when I was in my early 20’s, with you & your family, of tending to her soon after she died, of all of us singing around her [homemade] pine casket & decorating this with markers & crayons. This was a formative memory for me of some possible loving aspects of community deathcare.
Is this a type of position that existed in various cultures but we didn’t hear about in mainstream society in the U.S.?
Death care has been with the family & community since time immemorial & many times & in many cultures still is. There has been a real fear of death in the mainstream white society in the U.S., fear of losing one’s youth, a lack of connection with one’s ancestors & tending to them.
How is it different than typical hospice?
Death doulas do not provide medical care, yet hospice does. Death doulas ideally work together with hospice, possibly offering social, organizational, relational & spiritual counsel that coincides with the planning & clinical care of hospice. Hospice leads the care of the person & family at the end of life & the death doula is supporting the suggestions & care of hospice.
Hospice workers are licensed physicians, nurses, social workers, chaplains & hospice volunteers have gone through a hiring process & training. A death doula is a newer role in modern society, & is not required to be licensed or certified. I look forward to being able to volunteer for hospice.
Does health insurance cover the financial aspect of having a death doula/Village Deathcare Citizen? Or, what is the usual cost?
I am unaware if health insurance covers the financial part of death doula/Village Deathcare Citizen [support] & I doubt it. The cost varies by person, some offer this as a service to the community & others have payment according to services offered. There is a contract that is signed by the parties involved that speaks to cost, services, time, etc.
How does one find a death doula/VDC?
There are many death doulas who have websites, so checking online is possible [www.lastthings.net/resources lists several Maine-based death doulas].
What are your thoughts about what happens after we die?
I’m not sure there are words for what I imagine happening after one dies. This Earth & all the creatures that are of this place & all that are beyond that I cannot even comprehend are imbued with such beauty, profundity, creativity & shadow, that I can only imagine this carrying on in some sort of spiraling of creation & undoing continually. I imagine this true sense of belonging, of being a part of all, that I feel other beings of this Earth, who have been on this Earth so much longer than humans may already feel. To me, Trees embody this way of being, their leaves waving in the breezes like prayers, their sense of community with others in the forest has such depth that we in an individualized culture have yet to comprehend.
Watching my Grandmother on her deathbed, so many ancestors, those from many generations ago, would come to her & she would tell us about them. I do feel the ancestors–not always biological, as we also have chosen families in this life–who are continually caring for us during our lives, also tend during death & come to greet us as we move over a threshold, a threshold that could be akin to the threshold of being born, filled with mystery & ways that are possibly beyond our comprehension as humans, especially as a human in the western dominant culture that honors the rational mindset over all, much to our detriment I feel.
Also, I like to imagine flying around the world a bit after I die to “hug” every person, plant, animal, landscape…that I have loved, to pay my last homage as this being. To leave messages of well-being for them.
Is there such a thing as a “good death” or a “bad death”?
I think it will be helpful when myself & the culture I reside within let go of the “good vs. bad” in all levels of life & honor complexity. Note to self. This is a very personal question of course. For me, the question more resides in my expectations & how to let go of these. I do have desires of the ways I would like to die & what would be happening around me, yet how do I find support & holding within scenarios that I do not feel healthy to me is a question I often pose to myself.
I’ve always been inspired by the end of ‘Their Eyes Were Watching God’ by Zora Neale Hurston where she writes, “She pulled in her horizon like a great fish-net. Pulled it from around the waist of the world and draped it over her shoulder. So much of life in its meshes! She called in her soul to come and see.” This has always felt just right to me & have imagined if I was bedridden for a while & was still able to use my hands, to create a quilt/shroud of my life to pull over me. Engaging anyone who came to visit to add to this. A few weeks ago, my friend’s Mom sent me a video about a matriarchal society on a small island off the coast of Estonia where when a woman turns ~62, she begins to weave the clothes she will die & be buried in.
I can imagine many, many good deaths & ways to find some sort of peace within a less than ideal death.
You write and teach about the concept of “invasive” plants with a non-status quo lens. Could you please go deeper into this?
I find this topic has much to do with perspective & I find it important to take a few steps back & try to look with a broad view. The hatred & war mindset people apply to plants does not allow one to step back & look at the whole picture as to why these “invasive” plants have moved into the natural world with such tenacity & ambition. “Invasive plants” have been misquoted (thousands of times) as “being the second greatest threat to global biodiversity after habitat loss,” yet truly habitat loss due to poor decisions by humans is a strong reason why these plants are moving into certain areas & are thriving so much. These plants seem to be moving into poisoned, disturbed landscapes, along major highways where other plants cannot survive, into clearcuts & in “restoration” projects where poisons are spread over the land in order to allow native plants to grow–counterproductive in my mind & heart.
“Invasive plants” seem more to be a symptom of an unwell society, than a threat. I believe the Earth is wise beyond human comprehension, & it could be that these beings are here as warriors to protect & transform the landscapes after great distress. I feel we need to trust the Earth more with broader visions than we can see in our short lifespans.
When places on the Earth are out of whack for reasons of habitat loss, often from the actions of people, it seems many of these “Invasive Species” come in to transform the land into a diverse, healthier place again. In the land surrounding the Dragon Cement plant in Thomaston there is a great amount of Wild Parsnip. Some see this as a plant invading a landscape. Another perspective is to see this as land that has not been properly cared for & this plant among others that may give humans a skin irritation & welts, is protecting this land, not allowing certain beings access until the Earth can be healed, detoxified (the deep tap root of Parsnip plants offer such detoxification) & returned to a place of health. I see this often as well with Poison Ivy in an ecosystem, protecting the land from humans until it can be healed of its ecosystem disruption. And the ecosystem probably will not look the same as before, but where on this dynamic Earth is there not constant change? Do we wish to also stay the same our whole lives?
Does this mean I will not dig up certain plants from my garden, like excess Barberry, Bittersweet or Japanese Honeysuckle? No, I do take some of these plants out by digging & mulching, yet not out of hatred, but from being a caregiver of land. If I do remove them, I honor their place in this world, as well as, I often make medicine from them. I also honor the importance of supporting plants, pollinators, habitats, that are considered native to this land & feel one can hold all of this in its complexity.
There are many studies of “invasive plants” in an ecosystem leading to increased diversity, improved soil, pollinator support, wildlife habitat & medicine. Purple Loosestrife is cleaning the waterways of toxins, Russian Olive is fixing nitrogen in degraded soils & providing berries rich in lycopene, Japanese Knotweed cleans heavy metals from the soil & provides medicine for Lyme dis-ease. I highly recommend the book ‘The New Wild: Why Invasive Plants Will be Nature’s Salvation’ by Fred Pearce for more information on this topic.
I was horrified when I read the Maine Invasive Plant guide that came out a few years ago, as each page tells us how to poison the plants, & thus the waterways, our children, & habitats for creatures. The chemical companies are profiting exponentially from this so-called “war” on our planet & the mysterious dynamic processes of the Earth, more than $14 trillion/year spent on the ‘war on invasives.’ Many national & state parks & refuges, roadsides, forests are being sprayed with a mixture of herbicides, partly with the desire to eradicate such plants–at what cost? I hope more places follow Rockland & Blue Hill’s suit in banning the use of many of these chemicals, including glyphosate.
At my home, I have a bank of poison ivy, and an ocean of goutweed where a perennial garden used to be. What should I do?
One idea is to allow the Poison Ivy to tend to the land that has been traumatized on some level, thanking them for tending here, talking with them about the border you would like to compromise upon, using thick layers of cardboard, newspaper & woodchips to solidify the border. Eat some Goutweed in salads, sandwiches, frittatas (a little goes a long way), offer some to anyone dealing with gout & try creating a border as stated above.
What other things might you want to put into the local public’s consciousness that I haven’t mentioned yet?
To see the Trees around us, to learn more of their ways. To honor the weeds that are medicine that grow all around, even at our doorsteps. All of our ancestors have called upon plants as food, medicine, clothing, shelter, friendship, guidance & we too have this ancestral link. Start with one plant as an herbal ally this year, visiting them in all the seasons. I used to feel great loneliness, & visit this feeling from time to time, as there are lessons there, yet the verdant world all around me reminds me that we are all a part of something greater than we can even imagine.
Resources:
‘The New Wild: Why Invasive Plants Will be Nature’s Salvation’ Fred Pearce
“Death Nesting”
“Die Wise” Stephen Jenkinson
Last Things: Alternatives at the end of life https://www.lastthings.net/resources for resources on deathcare
Hospice Volunteers of Waldo County https://hospicevolunteersofwaldocounty.org/links.htm advanced care planning, bereavement support, volunteer support
Suzanne, as White Gourd http://whitegourdsounds.blogspot.com/p/about.html
Moon of Hyldemoor Herbals https://www.moonofhyldemoer.com/